I am writing a one-woman show about permission called Asking Nicely. It’s about how, why, when and where we ask for permission. And I’d like your help.
(For background you can read my first blog on the topic where I first decided on the idea, my second blog about the practicalities of an Edinburgh Fringe show, or my third blog about what I’m thinking/looking at/reading on the topic of permission.)
I’m looking at permission through the lens of sociology and intersectional feminism – when does manners become self-sabotaging meekness? When does confidence become entitlement? And if you’re game, I’d love to get your input:
Audience participation time!
If you are interested in this project and would like to help me think my thoughts, I’d be really grateful for answers to a few questions. Feel free to leave your answers in the comments or to email me and Hannah(dot)Chutzpah(at)gmail(dot)com.
(There are no wrong answers, only things I will/won’t harvest for my show – and obviously I won’t name anyone.):
- What do you wish you felt like you had permission to do, which you don’t currently?
- What do you wish other people felt like they had permission to do?
- What do you wish people *would* ask permission for but they currently don’t?
- Any further thoughts on permission, entitlement, timidity, seeking someone’s blessing, and anything else that springs to mind?
- Is there anything specific you recommend I should watch/read on the topic?
- Would you like to have a coffee and a chat about it some time? Time/transport allowing I would like to talk to a range of people about this. If you’re up for it let me know. (I live in London.)
Hannah Chutzpah 
Megan Rosslyn linked me to you and I like the idea so wanted to give some input.
What do you wish you felt like you had permission to do, which you don’t currently?
Right now, I’d like to run naked through the street but I’m very socially compliant and also don’t like being ogled, so feel like I can’t.
What do you wish other people felt like they had permission to do?
To be open about their feelings in public – society, I feel, makes us feel as though we don’t have that permission.
What do you wish people *would* ask permission for but they currently don’t?
I cycle, so it’d be nice if cars gave some kind of signal requesting permission rather than just cutting me up, but I think this is probably a respect thing rather than a permission thing.
Any further thoughts on permission, entitlement, timidity, seeking someone’s blessing, and anything else that springs to mind?
I stopped going to nightclubs because I got fed up with being touched without my permission, but I wouldn’t want to be frequently asked for that permission either; that would be nearly as bothersome. I have difficulty in refusing permission for things unless they really upset me if I’m asked nicely, which is something I’m working on becuase refusing permission can be very important.
Is there anything specific you recommend I should watch/read on the topic?
I can’t think of anything.
Would you like to have a coffee and a chat about it some time?
I think I’m a bit too far away, really, although I do live pretty close to my local railway station